UT blogger, YouTuber, writer, wife, mother, and happiness seeker. Twitter: @cowgirl_kaylee Snapchat: cowgirlkaylee22 firstname.lastname@example.org
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I don't think I ever imagined adult life to be so difficult. I somehow thought it would be easy to finish college, get a job, get married, have kids, and get a book published. • I never planned to not finish college, or have twins, or struggle to finish writing one of my dozens of book ideas. • And there are days where it's too much. I feel unsuccessful for not completing my goals. I feel bad that my husband has to work two jobs so that I can be home with our girls. • But if I were to describe life in one word, it would be unpredictable. We can't prepare for what will come. No matter how hard we try to control our lives, we can't. • Even when things are hard I am reminded that I found my soulmate. I found a man who I 100% believe was made for me. And we have the most amazing twin girls. And even if I haven't achieved my life goals yet, I'm 27. I still have time. • I love my life even when it's hard because it's mine, and it's perfect.
My girls are two months old today!! I love these two little princesses and don't remember a life without them. I was pretty shocked at the doctors this morning to learn Makell is now the bigger one, but as long as they're both healthy I don't really care. They handled their shots this morning like the little warriors they are. Everyday these girls grow stronger and I can't wait to see what they'll be capable of a month from now.
There are a million things I should be doing right now (laundry, dishes, getting dressed) but there's nothing I want to do more than being a mom. This Saturday I turn 27 and it's the 2nd anniversary of my miscarriage. That was the hardest birthday of my life, the hardest day of my life, and a day I didn't think I could ever heal from. But here I am two years later with two beautiful baby girls. I live every day of my life with depression, but I'm telling you that life gets better. You can find happiness and you can keep living despite pain and sorrow. Never give up, never give in, and keep living your life doing what makes you happiest. I promise you, your life is worth it.
Yesterday we got to go back to Logan to the pumpkin walk and a Halloween party. Logan will always have a special place in my heart as its the place I met this handsome man and my life began. Its six years ago this month that we really met and our relationship began. I love this man with all my heart and everything we've been through together. Love you Chris!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY #ZORAMGERRARD!! How are you two today? They grow up so fast! No, but in all reality, we got Zoram as an emotional support animal after my #miscarriage and he has been a steady and snuggly companion since. Sure it often seems I'm the one emotionally supporting this guy and all his fears, and he's much more wild than I ever wanted in a dog, but I never thought I could love a dog as much as I love him. He's one of my babies and a best friend, and I'll always love him, even if he loves @christopherfarnes more. Zoram, I love you. Happy birthday buddy!
Being a mom means so much to me. It's something I've wanted for as long as i can remember. These girls relax me and remind me that even though life is still hard, family is the most important thing, and my new family is my favorite of all. .
Also, I spy my little puppy baby hanging out with us too. #zoramgerrard is still getting used to the girls being here but he's been great around them. Honestly, my family is the best.
Today is my little girl's actual due date. I can't imagine having to wait till now to get them. I would have been a literal whale. This past month with my girls has been a learning experience and I love having these girls in my life. I love being a mom and having Chris by my side and their dad. It's been almost two years since my miscarriage, and I still miss my angel baby, but everything worked out in the best way. I love my life and this family of mine.