Straight as a rainbow🌈
123 posts 969 followers 853 following
This is probably going to be our last event together for a while. I'm sad, yet happy for you. Despite the fact I won't have my pumpkin by my side at my next event, I'm happy that you got into the school of your dreams able to achieve that masters degree! Who knew this year would be jam packed with events with you?? Thanks for everything, the transportation, taking care of me, and lastly, thanks for the memories we don't remember. #rollingtitsaf #hardsummer
Growing up, the common question that I constantly encountered was "Are you gay Allen?" Daily, my mind was murdered with the intuition of others knowing my own denial. My instinct told me to tell them what I should've said, but I hid from the lies I told myself to them. Don't get me wrong, I thought nothing less of what I am, but I knew it wasn't acceptable majority of the time. I deliberately possessed the emotions I thought would be "normal." I succumbed to this deception of myself the more I wanted acceptance from others. I did nothing more but continued to live to tell a lie that I was normal. The battles I pondered with myself resulted in actions I wasn't satisfied with. My mind was filled with fear of wanting others acceptance towards me. Yearly, the question still remained.. "Are you gay Allen?" My mind said yes but my mouth said no. What I was doing to myself made me dread every moment of living. With every step forward, continuously enduring the pain I sought no attention to, I realized their acceptance was hidden under my fears. My peers already accepted who I am, behind my own denial. I was fortunate enough to have people in my life who never thought of me differently, especially my family. The normality of their actions towards me had no affect to my personality. It's truly an honor and a blessing to have people who accepted me before my own denial. Without that, I wouldn't stand where I am today.