Asya and Macintosh

Hi, we are Asya (deaf) and Macintosh. We're rescues from the Moscow streets. To commission a pet portrait contact me here or go to:

1,209 posts 21,532 followers 247 following

Ok, I think I got everything about romantic snowfalls, Christmas mood, winter sports and hot beverages. Now, let's turn summer back on again. #Please #IMeanIt #HaveHadJustEnoughOfFreezingMyArseOff #WhoDoINeedToBuryInTheSnowToMakeYouListen


Tonight is my personal favorite of #WeirdRussianHolidays101. It's the Old New Year and we celebrate it because why not to celebrate The New Year by both Julian and Gregorian calendars? And then celebrate something else. The idea of extending New Year holiday season till Chinese New Year in February looks more tempting every year. And then we have a special holiday for men and a special holiday for women two weeks apart. And then it's not too long till long holidays in May. And then, thankfully, summer comes and it's time for a vacation. Because who doesn't need a rest after celebrating like that? #HappyOldNewYear #TimeToThinkAboutTakingDownTheTree #WishingYouEverythingAwesome


Unlike what you think, not every time I tell you your joke isn't funny I'm the one without sense of humor there, human. #NotLookingAtTheCamera #SabotagingTheHatStrategy #GuerillaWarriorExtraordinary



Not that I don't like listening about your work day but in my list of priorities it's somewhere between morning traffic and tooth ache. #NoticeHowGenerousTheRangeIs #NotEvenMentioningNeedlesUnderNails #OrSayCommercialBreaks #MightyTactfulOfMe


For many years I've carried on a mission of promoting #WeirdRussianHolidays101 through this account. So, in this light, Happy Orthodox Christmas! #YesItsOnlyChristmasNowInRussia #NoWeDontCelebrateItOnDecember25 #YesOurHolidaysAreStillOn #ThanksGodForThat #FarFromReadyToFaceTheRealLifeForNow


The only thing really unique about snowflakes is being uniquely overestimated #MyBad #AlsoUniquelyCold #AndWet #AndGenerallyUnpleasant #HappyNewYearBTW



What do you mean, it's 26 of December?! (Hope you all had a great Christmas, dear friends! We love you all very much and wish you everything wonderful in the world 🎄😻🎁❤️)


Behold this rare and deadly predator in her natural habitat. #ModernCitiesDangerousFauna #WildHuntress #AsyaAnimalPlanetSuperstar


So that's what you meant about not looking your best in the mornings. You may have underestimated things. #SignificantlyIMean #ShouldHaveUsedTheWordTerrifying #OrMayBeHorrendous #ShouldHavePutCautionSignsEverywhere



I'm starting to doubt the reliability of that immigration guide on the internet. #Step1GetYourselfAComfortableBox #Step2MailYourselfToTheCountryOfYourChoice #Sounded100PercentFoolproofUntilITriedIt


It's a few less carats than I expected but, sure, I accept. #AnyRingIsBetterThanNoRing #TheCoolestOnesDontHaveStonesAnyway #AskSauron


If you truly loved me you wouldn't be leaving me every day for something as boring as work. #JustSayIt #YouHaveAnotherCatDontYou #YouMayTryToConvinceMe #YouStillLoveMe #WithSecondBreakfast



You're so cute thinking, that putting your tuna sandwich on a top shelf makes it safe from me, human. #NothingStandsBetweenMeAndTuna #NotEvenGravitation #YourSecuritySystemIsOutOfDate #AsyaTheWorldClassTunaThief


I wouldn't be #AsyaTragicActress if I didn't take advantage of all the drama here. So, guys, if you still don't think I'm treated bad, look, the food in this place sucks too. #PleaseComeAndRescueMe #WillConsiderOffersOfPoliticalAsyalum #OrMarriageFromPrinces #LatterPreferable


I feel like there's been some misunderstanding with our brushing video.
Some of you may still remember that in 2015 Asya was seriously ill (the photos are from then). She had to have a surgery and was very weak for some time. Two leading versions were: parasites or hair ball, causing an obstruction. She had a long proper anti-parasite treatment but also, some time after the surgery, she threw up like a ton of fur (first and only time in her life). And we still can't be absolutely sure it wasn't hairball after all that caused her illness.
Asya doesn't normally throw up hairballs. It means all the fur she eats while washing herself stays inside. And you can say there's a lot of fur there to be eaten. Hypothetically she can get another obstruction any day. Our vet has recommended shaving her repeatedly and he is barely ready to accept regular brushing and hairball removing paste as an alternative. So, you see, I must remove as much fur as I can while brushing her. It's not the matter of her prettiness, it's the matter of her life and health. I won't loose my precious girl to some stupid hair ball, especially after that scare we had.

And to those of you who're still worried about Asya:
First of all, thank you for your concern, it really warms my heart to know you care about her as much as I do. Second, I love this girl to the moon and back I would never hurt her. And third, trust me, if she were uncomfortable you would know immediately. My whole block would know. She's very vocal. You should hear her, while we're washing out dingle berries from those fluffy pants, or at the vet's. "Blood-curdling screams" only barely covers it.

And if I still haven't convinced you: have you really ever tried a furminator on a fluffy cat?



We witnessed a miracle. There was brushing and there wasn't bloodshed. #ItsLikeWeekWithoutMonday #LikeSalesShoppingWithoutRegrets #HadToCallOffOurRegularFridayAmbulance #SoundOnIfYouWannaHearAsyasComments
P.S.: to everyone who's concerned. She's not in pain. She would have let us all know at once if she were. Read the post above.


Not that I accuse you in stealing my milk ring but it wouldn't be beneath you. #YouEvilHuman #ImSureYoureStealingMyToys #AndEatingAllTheGoodFoodAlone #CantTrustAnyone #AsyaTragicActress #JustABitParanoid


You most certainly not gonna waste another Saturday not getting up from the couch? Forgive me if I'm being skeptical. #YouCantResistTheCouchMagic #AsTheListOfTheMostAppealingThingsGoes #SexMoneyAndWorldDomination #AreDrasticallyOverrated #NothingBeatsTheCOUCH



Mood of the day: hugging-your-knees-and-rocking-in-the-corner cat equivalent. #TheMondayIsComing #WeReAllDoomed #SorryCantTalk #TooBusySufferingInSilence #AsyaTragicActress #&Co
P.S.: the only thing that makes life worth living is this amazing amazing tote from @nolababies 😻


You shouldn't have made me beg for breakfast, woman. It was totally beneath me and for that you will be drooled upon mercilessly. #MwaHaHa #RevengeIsBetterServedWet #HowDroolingIsNotBeneathMe #ICannotTellYou #BecauseYoureAnAmateur #InMattersOfProfessionalCatting


The idea that I'm too heavy to sleep on your chest is ridiculous. I'm light as a feather. As about 10 pounds of feathers. #4point5kg #KindaALotOfFeathers #GottaProveMyAngelicNatureSomehow #FeathersEnoughForWingsTheSizeOfGreenland #OrPossiblyMyEgo


I'm wearing costume of a cat, who wasn't consulted on the order of Halloween celebration, who's not excited about the idea of pumpkin dinner and who's in general this close to starting a murder spree now. #AsyaTragicActress #InACostumeOf #AsyaTragicActress #RunHumanRun #HappyHalloween


I put these two videos together because I wanted you to know two things:
1. Asya is a little gremlin
2. She hides it well
#EverythingAboutAsya #TheMostControversialActressOfTheGeneration #ThatsWhatMakesHerActingSoDeep


"The Undetectable Extension Charm, or simply Extension Charms is a charm that extends the internal dimensions of the target object without affecting the external dimensions" #HarryPotterFansRollCallInTheComments #MentionsOfTardisAreWelcomeToo #GeneralGeeksCensus