Juliana

Patron saint of dry hand jobs. Columbus.

3,312 posts 1,079 followers 984 following

Why am I still laughing so hard help me

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THEY DO NOW, YOU BIG-MOUTHED JERKS! If my premiums increase from this, so help me...
#Monday

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“Bloody Mary, full of vodka, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now, and at the hour of my death... which I hope is soon. Amen." 🙏🏻 #SundayFunday #Blest #SendNudez #CouchCruising #AsSeenInColumbus #614 #Icon #PrayerCircle4Juliana

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Breakfast #Tacos for #Brunch.
🍳🌮🥑🍾🥂💕🙌🏻
(No way in hell I can finish all of this, but you better believe I’m gonna try...)
#AsSeenInColumbus #614 #Eat614 #MarryAChef #Guacamole #Avocado #FoodPorn #Champagne #Cava
@mendenboy @freixenetusa

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Real Housewives of #Grandview Heights. 🍸💍
(And a splash of some good ol’ Hocking County. 💪🏻😼)
#AsSeenInColumbus #5xNW #Austin316 #Julianimal614 #FridayNight #Siamese #BeatrixMiniwheats #CatMom #CatsOfInstagram #Martini #KetelOne #MarriedAF

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Enough is ENOUGH! I have HAD it with these motherfuckin’ clouds and this motherfuckin’ rain.
-Juliana S. Jackson (Seriously though, I’d MUCH rather it be 30 degrees colder and sunny.)
#RainRainGTFO #AsSeenInColumbus #WinterBlues #ICantStandTheRain #SADcanSMD #AtLeastItsFriday #SamuelLJackson

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Did this one awhile back, but the #sentiment remains the same.
My #Valentine had practice tonight- so my evening consisted of the gym, grocery store, and #CSI on the couch with the #BeatrixMiniwheats 😻 (then @mendenboy and I will do a belated dinner and #cocktails somewhere this weekend.) Neither of us are huge on the holiday, but it’s always nice to celebrate #love.
We all know we need a lot more of it.
(Oh, and I DID get to see Pete briefly when the band went live on Instagram for a bit- so there’s a plus. 😹❤️) #ValentinesDay #GrissomIsBae #CatMom #143 #CrossStitch #SubversiveCrossStitch #AsSeenInColumbus #614

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Ladies and gentleman, my annual V-Day tribute to my friend Jackie: Y’all #Pinterest parents making your kids’ #Valentine boxes for them, will NEVER impress me as much as the time Jackie made this OJ Simpson box in the 5th grade. (We were REALLY interested in the OJ case.) Also, the eyes glowed in the dark, and she kept it on her nightstand, so whenever I stayed over, it looked like he was staring right at us, and it eventually started to scaring the shit out of me. Good memories.
❤️
#OJSimpson #KidsAreWeird #WeAlsoTurnedIntoWeirdAdults #IllNeverNotPostThis

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This little #weirdo loves to watch me #shower, but whenever she does, she always looks so haunted right afterward. 😹
“I’ve seen some shit, man. You wouldn’t even know...” *takes long drag from a tiny #catnip joint*

#BeatrixMiniwheats #Siamese #PeepingTom #BadKitty #Nosy #CatMom #AsSeenInColumbus #614
#Meerkat #Kitty

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It’s even funnier that she wildly misspelled “#mimosas”, because we’ve all been there...
🍾🥂🍊💁🏻‍♀️

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Time for another installment of “#SleepTalking with @mendenboy.”
(To be fair though, a #bourbon bracelet sounds pretty dope.)
😹😴🖤🥃
#Husband #Weirdo #Somniloquist

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We’ll miss ya, Darlin’. Honky Tonk Heaven got a good one. ❤️
@tilfordsellers

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Update: Already killed one of my wedding bouquet #succulents with my #BlackThumb. (To be fair though, I have a sneaking suspicion that #BeatrixMiniwheats MIGHT have helped out...)
🖤👎🏻🥀
#AsSeenInColumbus #614 #PlantKiller #CatMom

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Y’all know I like animals more than people, but fuck you, Punxsutawney Phil. 🖕🏻 🌅

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“"THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS, LARRY!!” #LebowskiFest #ASSeenInColumbus #BUMperSticker #614 #FuckItDudeLetsGoBowling

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Y’all out here giving Kim K all this credit for the #contouring trend- but you don’t know your roots. 💁🏻‍♀️💪🏻💀
#Doyle #Misfits #Contour #Inspo #MUA #DemCheekbones #IWantYourSkulls #DoyleWolfgangVonFrankenstein
@doylewolfgangvonfrankenstein

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Let’s talk about how #pretty my one-eyed B.B. #Booey looks after her grooming! They even gave her the cutest little #Valentine bow! It doesn’t necessarily go with the sweater, but a gal’s gotta do what she can to stay warm in this weather. 😹❤️🐶
(Surprisingly not-shitty photo credit to my Ma. Good work, Jo. 😹👌🏻)
#ShihTzu #LhasaApso #OneEyedDog #DogsOfInstagram #Cute #InstaDog #Fashionista #Influencer #Style #PutYourBestPawForward #Werk #WCW #SeniorDog

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This lil’ fella was #adorable and delicious. I still hate #Wednesday though.

#DonutFuckWithMe #Cute #MiniDonuts #Sprinkles #Eat614 #Werk #Instafood #Breakfast

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