Kyle Goose (@kylethegoose)

Kyle Goose

My parents had too many kids and with my bad foot they had no choice but to abandon me. I was rescued and taught the pirate life. @animals_video

  • posts584

She's been acting number 10 crazy in heat. Now we know why. I'm not sure how many there are. I'm not sure if they are fertilized. Just cause Eugene around don't mean they fertilized. It just means he desperate. I'm gonna wait to candle one later. Not sure when. I know you gonna be like omg don't touch the nest. She will smell it and not come back. Not true. She loves the way I smell. #oceanbreeze. In fact her nest is made out of my blanket. Kyle also decided to add a random boat cleaning brush and the trim plate to the stereo. It's her nest she can add whatever she wants. I'll bet if I lifted the blanket there would be all kinds of missing lake Oswego treasures in there. Alright everyone I hope you have a good day and let's keep our shirts on until we know more. @animals_video #nogrampajokes #orbabynames


@archervineyardofficial agreed to donate the proceeds from 2 cases of wine to any animal shelter I choose. All I have to do is film edit and post a quick video.
Follow @archervineyardofficial for all your Willamette Valley wine needs. @archervineyardofficial @animals_video #pinotnoir #pinotgris #willamettevalley #winecountry #archerbottling


My guard dogs are scarier than yours. @animals_video #kyleright #eugeneleft


We haven't done FUN WITH WORDS in FOREVER. For the 55 and older crowd I know you look forward to this. I'm excited!! HERE WE GO!!!! SLIDE INTO YOUR DM---Translates to I'm gonna send a message via instagram messenger. Usually it involves someone the sender sees as attractive. The message is the first step in the hopes of developing a relationship sexual in nature.
THATS SO FIRE! ---translates to the quality or level of potency usually in reference to drugs. But it can also be a reference to new music that is considered favorable among your peers.
TURNT UP! ----translates to partying and being loud-Origins come from "turn up" a reference to the volume of music played.
AINT NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT---Translates to I do not have time for this. i.e. The person feels their time would be better spent elsewhere. Can be used as a reference to current actions, done by past exes of failed relationships.
CASH ME OUTSIDE HOW BOUT DAT!---translates to I'm fed up with this place and leaving and expect to be paid on the way out. Much like an employee that wishes to leave a company but wants to be compensated immediately for their final labor hours. Instead of waiting until the end of the standard pay period.
I hope this has been helpful #kylethegoose @animals_video #tryusingtheminasentencethisweek


I'm staying at home tonight and watching Cops.
Ask me anything. Hurry up nows your chance. @animals_video



I have worn jeans 5 times in the last 4 months. I really like grey sweats. If I had to describe my look it would have to be the classic homeless look. I wore jeans today and i realize how uncomfortable they are. Who decided that jeans is the standard. Why can't I show up to meetings or parties in sweats. If jeans are so comfortable then why does 90% of America change into sweats when they get home. How much better would your job be if everybody wore flip flops and sweats. Do you think I'm gonna do less satisfactory of a job, by what I'm wearing. I got news for you, I was planning on doing the bare minimum, regardless of my attire. Jeans don't leave a lot of room for guys in the downstairs region. Your package shouldn't be all crammed in there. It's meant to breath. This leads to sagging. For those that don't, they gotta take pills when they get older. Your Dad can explain that to you. Its a real problem in America that no one is talking about. I forgot where I was going with this. Good day @cflaxsshz @animals_video


So then the gorilla says to Kyle, but it's my banana. @animals_video @oregonzoo


I'm hoping for a normal summer this year but i don't like that look. @animals_video #whysoserious


@caseyneistat and friends are trying to come up with a million bucks so they can fill a 60 ton cargo plane with much needed food and water, to help the desperate people in Somalia. If you click on the link in my bio, watch the story and if you can donate anything helps. There are links attached to the video where you can donate.
Thank you! #teamcasey #watchthevideoitscrazyawesome @caseyneistat @benstiller @eljuanpazurita @chakabars


Huge shout out to all my east coast friends. #spring #lakeoswego @animals_video


This is the coolest @animals_video



Audrey Hepburn grocery shopping with her fawn Pippen. @animals_video


My buddy like wanna come over and help detail my boat. I'm like sure as long as after we get done, you come over and help detail mine. #sucker @animals_video


I still have the other boat. I left it Beckys like a month or 2 ago. It's super low on gas. I would fill it up but I'm not sure if I'll make it to lake corp. So that means I gotta take a gas can in a car and drive up to Shell. Drive back to beckys, put gas in and then drive to lake corp to fill up. Nobody has time for that. Enter Pride of Lake Oswego. This little gem comes from Seattle. It was the sister skiff to the 59ft Crown Royal. I drove up to Seattle and stopped at a casino. One thing lead to another. And then I bought this. I would do Kyle fly video but she too pregnant. #twostroke #jetpowered #nooutboard #letsrace @animals_video


@devon_kumarr is like dude you have 482k views on that story from the summer. I'm like yeah but 9 people gave it a thumbs down. I plan dedicating serious time and money this summer to tracking down these 9 haters. I will travel to the ends of the earth. You know what thats their loss, cause I would have been an awesome friend. @animals_video


The Pride of Lake Oswego. If we make thru the season without points on this boat, it will be a miracle. @animals_video


Starbucks and errands. Wanna see the full 5 min video on YouTube. The links in my bio.
Subscribe to the channel! @animals_video #tagyourfriends



What should we talk about? @animals_video


Since we ran into trouble trying to acquire your birthday present. (i.e. No one will sell us a pony on Craigslist.) We got you a free pass to take Kyle flying in the summer. You can even bring a few friends! Marybeth we hope you have the best birthday!! See you in the summer!!!
@maryweebs @maryweebs @maryweebs @animals_video #lakeoswego


This dog will haunt your dreams. @animals_video


Kyle and Moe @moalshehri @animals_video #saudiroyalfamily #lakeoswego


Let me open up with a huge thank you for all the messages. Lots of great ideas you guys have. Some not so great. Lots of maybes (i.e. Repo man, demolition expert, shredded cheese authority, social media consultant, shark expert, flare gun quality control engineer, train driver) The truth is even know I'm broke, I'm not actually broke. It's more like when Batman gets to keep Wayne manor but the lights are out and Alfred bounced. So I don't really need a job. Ok let's get serious. I didn't respond to some of you because your ideas are actually really good. I've given it some thought and here's the deal. I don't have a problem writing music. The only problem is I can't read music but provided you had the sound I would be able to help write your song or rap. If you want me to write your stand up or comedy sketch i feel like I should get paid up front in cash. That's not a joke. You get what u pay for. @animals_video #bekind #spreadlove


We've been missing a lot lately cause the weather has been terrible. We have been working through our final legal problems. Winter has been dragging on forever. Kyle's in heat. I'm officially out of a job like seriously no income. Spring is right around the corner and the way schedule is going, it's gonna be busiest summer ever. We have so much cool stuff going on. Only one problem, no money. Like seriously even the emergency money I buried is gone. So how do I party all summer, update social media, do gang stuff and take care of all my lake responsibilities. No seriously I'm asking. I need a job that doesn't require me to do much. That I can phone in on days I don't wanna come in. Nothing in sales. Or that deal with people. Or computers. Or paperwork. I don't work well with others and will not pass a drug test. I have reliable transportation but don't do traffic. I like to dress business casual. Mostly sweats. Grey in color. If I take the job you hook up, I need a small advance on my first check. We can circle back to that during the signing bonus. I don't need a parking spot cause I'll probably park at home. I mentioned I have reliable transportation. Bad news I need a company car. I don't want anything used or yellow and need a gas card too. You know what these are just details. I shouldn't be too picky I mean I'm coming to you guys for work.
Side note: I don't have resume, cover letter, references or a suit.
So who's hiring. Ready set go. #tagsomeonehiring @animals_video


Hey Vanessa cool stitch! @scullymoonx @animals_video


Lake Oswego PSA:
I rescued an SUP on the lake last week. It was taking a beating on the island in front of the swim park. It's blue. If you can DM me a pic of you riding the board it's yours. If you don't have pic of board then you obviously don't care about it or summer. Only reason you wouldn't have pic is cause you have like a broken arm or leg or you on house arrest. If you don't have board pic show me your ankle bracelet or cast. I'm trying to be reasonable. And to the person who gonna ask: uhhhhh what's an SUP? May God help you with whatever you struggling with. @animals_video #sup #standuppaddleboard


Happy Valentines Day. To all my single friends Happy Independence Day. @animals_video #eugene #kyle


@animals_video #lakeoswego