Kyle Goose

Kyle Goose
My parents had too many kids and with my bad foot they had no choice but to abandon me. I was rescued and taught the pirate life. @animals_video
https://stores.inksoft.com/kylethegoose

Posts

570

Following

2,018

Followers

77,716

Kyle Goose

Let me open up with a huge thank you for all the messages. Lots of great ideas you guys have. Some not so great. Lots of maybes (i.e. Repo man, demolition expert, shredded cheese authority, social media consultant, shark expert, flare gun quality control engineer, train driver) The truth is even know I'm broke, I'm not actually broke. It's more like when Batman gets to keep Wayne manor but the lights are out and Alfred bounced. So I don't really need a job. Ok let's get serious. I didn't respond to some of you because your ideas are actually really good. I've given it some thought and here's the deal. I don't have a problem writing music. The only problem is I can't read music but provided you had the sound I would be able to help write your song or rap. If you want me to write your stand up or comedy sketch i feel like I should get paid up front in cash. That's not a joke. You get what u pay for. @animals_video #bekind #spreadlove

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Kyle Goose

We've been missing a lot lately cause the weather has been terrible. We have been working through our final legal problems. Winter has been dragging on forever. Kyle's in heat. I'm officially out of a job like seriously no income. Spring is right around the corner and the way schedule is going, it's gonna be busiest summer ever. We have so much cool stuff going on. Only one problem, no money. Like seriously even the emergency money I buried is gone. So how do I party all summer, update social media, do gang stuff and take care of all my lake responsibilities. No seriously I'm asking. I need a job that doesn't require me to do much. That I can phone in on days I don't wanna come in. Nothing in sales. Or that deal with people. Or computers. Or paperwork. I don't work well with others and will not pass a drug test. I have reliable transportation but don't do traffic. I like to dress business casual. Mostly sweats. Grey in color. If I take the job you hook up, I need a small advance on my first check. We can circle back to that during the signing bonus. I don't need a parking spot cause I'll probably park at home. I mentioned I have reliable transportation. Bad news I need a company car. I don't want anything used or yellow and need a gas card too. You know what these are just details. I shouldn't be too picky I mean I'm coming to you guys for work.
Side note: I don't have resume, cover letter, references or a suit.
So who's hiring. Ready set go. #tagsomeonehiring @animals_video

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Kyle Goose

Hey Vanessa cool stitch! @scullymoonx @animals_video

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Kyle Goose

Lake Oswego PSA:
I rescued an SUP on the lake last week. It was taking a beating on the island in front of the swim park. It's blue. If you can DM me a pic of you riding the board it's yours. If you don't have pic of board then you obviously don't care about it or summer. Only reason you wouldn't have pic is cause you have like a broken arm or leg or you on house arrest. If you don't have board pic show me your ankle bracelet or cast. I'm trying to be reasonable. And to the person who gonna ask: uhhhhh what's an SUP? May God help you with whatever you struggling with. @animals_video #sup #standuppaddleboard

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Kyle Goose

Happy Valentines Day. To all my single friends Happy Independence Day. @animals_video #eugene #kyle

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Kyle Goose

I guess it would depend on the job. πŸ€” @animals_video

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Kyle Goose

Our gang is becoming less and less approachable. @animals_video

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Kyle Goose

@themickfox is the best show on tv right now. That's all I'm gonna say. You probably like dude we don't care, where's Kyle. I'm not posting any updates till everyone watches this show. Or 48 hours goes by, which ever comes first. #allhail #themick @animals_video

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Kyle Goose

Best Friend Goals. @animals_video

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Kyle Goose

Who's excited for the Super Bowl tomorrow? We don't care who wins as long as there is good sportsmanship. If we rooting for anyone it's the refs. I don't like their outfits but appreciate their commitment to the rules of the game. @animals_video

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Kyle Goose

Was driving around this morning while it was icy and almost got hit by two different people both with California plates. The whole situation with everyone from California moving here is out of control. I thought about it and I have a solution. We gonna put up a wall to stop the bleeding. People from California that currently reside here will pay for it. If you must move to Oregon from Cali here is how the vetting process will work. You must own a 4 wheel drive vehicle. You must live on Mt. Hood for a period of 2 years. The Oregon DMV will monitor your driving activity during this time. If you go with no accidents you will be issued a two year temporary permit to drive and live in Portland area. We will also issue special license plates letting everyone know how special you are. If you know of anyone recently immigrated here from LA but doesn't not own a 4 wheel drive vehicle. Please report and deport.
#bekind #spreadlove #keepportlandsafe @animals_video

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Kyle Goose

Huge shoutout to @tide on laundry day. And let's not forget Downy dryer sheets for that summer breeze smell. And @oxiclean for not fading colors. People are always asking me how I achieve my homeless look. I like to do my laundry in a special way. I only do it once a month. I throw it all in the washer and then all in the dryer. I don't separate or fold. I just throw it all in the closet on the floor when I'm done. This helps me achieve that homeless, no hope look I pull off so well. @animals_video

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Kyle Goose

These people! Lol oh my ❀ @thedodo @animals_video #ollieforpresident

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Kyle Goose

I love our chats. @kirkosu
@animals_video

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Kyle Goose

Banning people from entering the country based on religious beliefs or where you are from is literally the saddest thing I ever heard. You realize some of these people are desperate refugees. Imagine earthquakes started happening everyday in California and people were dying. Then I make a law, we no are longer accepting people from California, until we can figure out a better vetting process. Our country is based on diversity and it's been our key to success. This isn't 8-28-63 and you cannot treat people like this. Just so know the rest of the world thinks we are coming apart at the seams. Desperate people that need our help aren't getting it. This impacts families that are already here. Hate groups at home and abroad will use this as a weapon to recruit and train. Last I checked most of our threats are homegrown. Keep this up and maybe we will throw our hat in the mix for 2020 elections. I thought you guys were gonna ask more questions in 2017. I'm not mad. Just sad. @animals_video #dowhatyourheartsaysisright

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Kyle Goose

I don't know what kind of reindeer games Eugene is playing but bringing his side piece over is dumb. I'm trying to get in Eugenes head. Best I can figure is hes showing off he is in a stable relationship. Like hey Kyle this could be yours if the price is right. I know what Kyle's thinking.
Bye Felicia @animals_video

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Kyle Goose

All these zoos competing for cuteness. Time to put everyone out of their misery. #cuteanimaltweetoff @animals_video #bekind #spreadlove

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Kyle Goose

Not gone. Gonna come back, just taking some vacation days. Oregon law says I'm entitled. speaking of law. Was talking with @jaredbjustice by talking I mean Jared was yelling at me. And I think we got this whole thing figured out. @wasta So if I threaten I'm gonna kill u. That's not against at the law. Totally legal. However if I name the time and place then I can get into trouble. For example I'm gonna kill you at 3:45pm on Wednesday when u get home from work. Apparently that's illegal. --By the way I read threw everyone's comments and messages. Thanks for all the love. βœŒοΈπŸ€˜πŸ€™ @animals_video #cuteanimaltweetoff

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Kyle Goose

Couldn't sleep last night. I kept thinking about the hurtful things people said yesterday. I happen to click on @rondarousey page and started reading thru some of the terrible comments. I don't get it. I've never said one hurtful thing online. Yah I threaten people from time to time but that's cause they deserve it. Like those two assholes last week that cut the ears off dogs. Who remembers what I said in the beginning about the second this is no longer fun I'm out. How the hell are we supposed to teach others to be kind to animals and we can't even be kind to each other. @animals_video

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Kyle Goose

Ok so I commented on one jacket that I thought was cool and turned out it was made of goose down. As a result I got a tons of comments and messages accusing me of being a fake or phony. Are u effin kidding. I was high and scrolling and made one comment on one jacket and everybody loses there mind. Don't put me under a microscope cause if u think me liking a picture is bad, your head would explode if you knew what I did in real life. Get a freaking life! @animals_video

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Kyle Goose

Okay random question my friends, I know how connected you guys are. I need huge favor. I need Kennys cell phone number from Alaskan Bush People. He's Matt and Noah's friend from the dump. I'm trying to put together this thing and cant do it without him. If you DM me his number, you get a prize. @discoverychannel @alaskanbushppl @animals_video

29πŸ—¨

Kyle Goose

Was listening to kids online with headsets talk to each other while playing Xbox. I've heard some craziness recently. Lets just say there are few kids out there, that if I see in public are getting spanked. Also I'm pretty sure I overheard a drug deal go down in Oakland. Apparently this guy can get pounds of fire for 18. It's crazy how many people play Xbox that need Jesus. @animals_video #bekind #spreadlove

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Kyle Goose

Eugene acting desperate this morning is not gonna help close kyle. Let this be a lesson to all. I'm not saying ignore the girl you like but find a balance. Tell her how you feel or show her how you feel but not both. @animals_video πŸ€™

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Kyle Goose

Watching @alaskanbushppl on @discoverychannel The more I watch the more I realize how much Brown town needs me. I have so much to offer everyone. Even Matt best friend at the dump. The one who's always yelling and tripping out and randomly cutting stuff. I forget his name. Doesn't matter, Browntown needs me. @animals_video

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Kyle Goose

Kyle's either waiting for her turn or wants Calvin to get off her favorite pillow. Playing Halo 5 all night find us online or just come over and wait your turn.
P.S. no cheetahs or leopards were harmed in the making of Kyle's pillow. I'm pretty sure it's made out of whatever standard cushions are made of.
#callsign #easycompany35
#freeforall #dangerclose #xbox1 @cflaxsshz @animals_video

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Kyle Goose

Oh I'm not a gang member I'm a gang monitor. I only notify people where there's a gang problem. There's a problem.
Song- bad things @animals_video

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Kyle Goose

Lake Oswego Oregon. @animals_video @msemilyluv song @duffy

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Kyle Goose

If Eugene knocks up Kyle there will be hell to pay. @animals_video #lakeoswego

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Kyle Goose

She considered a national treasure in countries she's never visited. @animals_video

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