miel βœ¨πŸ’–πŸ’«

trying very hard to appear carefree


  • posts194

the book jacket photo for my upcoming memoir "i used to have a tight instagram theme but then i ran out of friends to terrorize: a memoir"


my brother and ophelia and me sitting on a sod roof two years ago today bc cute and timehop but also bc i'm less featured in this photo, making me look less like a narcissist and furthering my carefree brand


people line up to take photos in front of this wall so i just had to give it my best shot! what do you think?


sometimes i get in my head about posting pics of myself because DANG how many could we possibly need and it all starts to feel trite and bumptious but then i remember i'm a slowly decaying blood and bone bag on a rock rotating in infinite blackness and so OK throw another selfie on the gram


here's an old vine reenacting an actual message i received from a male stranger on the internet bc what better way to handle creeps than to make fun of them πŸ‘ thanks @sarahschauer_ for the inspiration!


here i am trying to forget a piece of my IUD is still stuck somewhere in my cavernous uterus and no one can find it and now maybe before i can even get it out i'll lose my healthcare bc a bunch of old white dudes need an ego boost but at least my hair looks good am i right (っ◔◑◔)っ β™₯ blessed β™₯


a man on twitter once said to me "beauty sweetie love to see the feet baby please im kisses you" so i cropped them out of this pic bc at least pay me dam


happy holidays to everyone who celebrates my birthday βœ¨πŸ¦€πŸŽŠβ™‹οΈπŸ’«


i made @anthonypadilla swim while holding a phone to take this bc it made me look like a real peaceful bitch but here i am admitting i risked a phone for a mediocre ig pic and i know i could change this caption but i've already typed so many words


this pic goes out to the dude who was furious that i'm a "comedian" but my pics aren't "funny" so here's another unfunny picture to worsen your rage ulcers! Ξ·Ξ±ΠΌΞ±Ρ•Ρ‚Ρ” Ρ‚Ο…Ρβˆ‚


how girls watch fireworks


β™₯ ο½—ο½ο½Žο½„ο½…ο½’ο½Œο½•ο½“ο½” β™₯ *~~ fame is all that matters to me please for the love of god like and comment ~~*


what's the best way to clean up blood


i tried to take a "sexy" selfie but i forgot to close my mouth and moisturize my armpit hair so instead i present a lobotomy impression for your monday scrolling


guess we all found heaven that day - a little vine throwback for the first day of summer 🌞


i need to address the controversy. i understand many of you are upset. rightfully so. you deserve answers, and i promise i will tell you where my striped shirt has gone as soon as i post this double exposure i took of @anthonypadilla on my late grandfather's canon t90


i was attacked by a wild animal *NOT CLICKBAIT*


i was going to post about the way i sit when i write but then i realized you can see my armpit hair soγ€°nowγ€°it'sγ€°aboutγ€°that


me and my associate would like to thank you all for your understanding during this very difficult time. curating a fresh instagram theme is one of the biggest hurdles of our generation and your support means the world to me. ✨ so how do you hope to die?


how many pictures can i post (in a row) standing in front of colored walls with the same striped shirt before you turn on me? 3? feels like 3.


if you're feeling bloated, wear horizontal stripes and JUST πŸ‘ GO πŸ‘ FOR πŸ‘ IT


young sheldon


today i found out i have been wearing the same outfit for 20 years. suck it easy commitment issues!!!


happy hump day


an old vine brilliantly titled "when u thought it was just a fart"


it's monday and you know what that means! nothing. time is a mental construct. the universe is continually descending into informational chaos. haha comment your favorite parasite!! γ€°


ppl ask u to comment on their pics bc it boosts their reach via IG's algorithm. it's kind of gross. anyway is god real? let me know in the comments below!!!


i really wish i could sneak these europe pics into my feed like they are current but i had to go and get bangs and also write this caption :-(


the key to a good selfie is drawing attention away from problem areas (face) and toward your best feature (camera) !!!


i went to monet's garden and apparently described a spicy meatball? what am i doing with my baby hand???