miel βœ¨πŸ’–πŸ’«

beauty sweetie love to see the feet baby please im kisses you


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sang loudly at Demi’s door until he brought me some vegan gluten-free figgy pudding because FAIR IS FAIR @electrolemon


thought I’d shoot this with β€œfestive” lighting but it’s ended up looking less β€œChristmas festive” and more β€œSan Junipero festive” which is actually perfect because that’s my religion. Up soon 🍬


last year i realized the cadence of β€œslob on my knob” is identical to β€œcarol of the bells” so i made this β€œcarol of the balls” and ruined christmas forever. anyway happy December!!!!!



a lot of things are β€œwrong” with this photo β€” closed eyes, no pants, water bottle claw hand (gotta stay hydrated surfin the web). but i’m posting it anyway bc it’s happy and honest and i want to see more of that online. plus i’ve been looking way too attractive in recent pics and i gotta stay humble!!!!!!!!!


i’ve always struggled with my mental health, but for a year* now, i’ve felt completely enveloped in the fog. i keep thinking it’ll dissipate (like it always does) and until then i’ve just got to β€œhang in there.” in the interim, i’m less and less motivated and finding the funny in anything is increasingly difficult, which wouldn’t be a big deal except that it’s my job (and coping mechanism.) it’s like i’m watching my life pass me by as an apathetic spectator. i can hardly remember anything from the past year, good or bad. it’s simultaneously frustrating and exhausting. i am tired of just surviving, i want to thrive. so while i’m trying to figure out how to make that happen, i wanted to thank you for believing in me, supporting me and being patient with me even when i’m posting emo shit like this (or more likely, not posting at all.) even though i hate talking about it, if sharing this can help even one of you feel less alone then hell yeah. let’s all be fucked up together ✌️


when you’re a 28 year old woman but still small enough to trick or treat



really wish there were more paid hag opportunities bc i’d really like to live in these woods forever; perfect place to practice peeing standing up without scrutiny


suck it easy trees i am the tallest now!!!!!!!!!!


these gels got me lookin like a real expensive hologram in this screengrab from my new video (link in bio)



want to take this caption opportunity to confirmπŸ‘€that all my trueπŸ‘ŠfriendsπŸ‘―know that the salemπŸ‘»witchπŸ‘ΈtrialsπŸ’€had nothing😱to do with witchesπŸ‘Ίand everythingto do with three men (sheriffπŸ‘¨β€βœˆοΈjudgeπŸ‘¨β€βš–οΈreverendπŸ‘¨β€πŸ’Ό) using their positions for personal gainπŸ’ΈπŸ’°πŸ’΅!!!!! ✨justπŸ™…girlyπŸ’…things✨


saying it louder for the people in the baCK FALL IS LIFE


to those saying my captions are β€œso extra,” here is a very chill one for you: i took this last year between rainstorms from a covered bridge after listening to bon iver who, coincidentally, have a song called β€œflume” which is β€˜coincidental’ since this was taken outside the flume gorge in NH and furthermore this has all been one sentence



i brought my camera with me to new england last fall but never posted the pics bc i [was funnier] had a theme but now that i [have accepted failure] upload with no abandon, i can post them all with no shame or more realistically, just the regular amount of shame with which i do everything ✨🍁


some people spend their free time surfing or crocheting or cooking and others aggressively edit videos of their dog humping their sister's leg tomato tomato


how glam can you look while airing it out



it's september 1st you know what that means


true friendship knows no bounds, not even fame and grammys and aggressive imbalance in skill level!!!!!!!!!!!!! πŸŒŸπŸŽΎπŸ‘―
Watch the concert live
Audience Network on


it's monday and you know what that means!!! yesterday was sunday and tomorrow is tuesday



u want the feet u gotta pay for the feet!!!!!!!!!


good news everyone. i used a face mask and now i am finally beautiful


serving brother-in-law's-jacket-responsible-dog-owner realness with fog that the locals have named "karl" but tbh he feels more like a kraig to me. anyway let me know in the comments below if you think blood is bone juice πŸ’«


the book jacket photo for my upcoming memoir "i used to have a tight instagram theme but then i ran out of friends to terrorize: a memoir"


my brother and ophelia and me sitting on a sod roof two years ago today bc cute and timehop but also bc i'm less featured in this photo, making me look less like a narcissist and furthering my carefree brand


people line up to take photos in front of this wall so i just had to give it my best shot! what do you think?


sometimes i get in my head about posting pics of myself because DANG how many could we possibly need and it all starts to feel trite and bumptious but then i remember i'm a slowly decaying blood and bone bag on a rock rotating in infinite blackness and so OK throw another selfie on the gram


here's an old vine reenacting an actual message i received from a male stranger on the internet bc what better way to handle creeps than to make fun of them πŸ‘ thanks @sarahschauer_ for the inspiration!


here i am trying to forget a piece of my IUD is still stuck somewhere in my cavernous uterus and no one can find it and now maybe before i can even get it out i'll lose my healthcare bc a bunch of old white dudes need an ego boost but at least my hair looks good am i right (っ◔◑◔)っ β™₯️ blessed β™₯️


a man on twitter once said to me "beauty sweetie love to see the feet baby please im kisses you" so i cropped them out of this pic bc at least pay me dam


happy holidays to everyone who celebrates my birthday βœ¨πŸ¦€πŸŽŠβ™‹οΈπŸ’«


i made @anthonypadilla swim while holding a phone to take this bc it made me look like a real peaceful bitch but here i am admitting i risked a phone for a mediocre ig pic and i know i could change this caption but i've already typed so many words