miel βœ¨πŸ’–πŸ’«

beauty sweetie love to see the feet baby please im kisses you

http://shortyawards.com/10th/miel

224 posts 95,560 followers 263 following

shortly before i realized hump day was invented by greeting card companies to sell more humps

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the hemorrhoids queen sits (comfortably) on a throne of lies. full video on my youtube channel

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deeply insecure people will think I’m basic after posting a selfie in the infinity mirror exhibit so 🌠 πŸŽ€  𝒾 𝒢𝓂 π‘”πŸ‘π’Ύπ“ƒπ‘” π“‰πŸ΅οΈ π“‰π“Žπ“…π‘’ 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 π“‰π’½π’Ύπ“ˆ π“ˆπŸŒž π“ŽπŸŒΈπ“Š π“ŒπŸ’™π“ƒ'𝓉 π“ƒπŸ’π“‰π’Ύπ’Έπ‘’ πŸŽ€ 🌠

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For the past two months, @electrolemon and I have been reviewing, remixing and rewriting classic tunes every frickin week for our podcast @punchupthejam and I just realized I never posted about it. Ten entire episodes are available everywhere podcasts exist. I hope you like them!

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first, a message to the friends: hey sweetie it’s monday hope you found some time this weekend to take care of yourself. now a message to the haters: please like me please like me please like me please like me please like me please like me pleas

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hope to see a few at the big game!!

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honestly yeah it is hard being violently attractive all the time but this hooded shirt isn’t gonna tuck itself into my hat

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truly shocked and honored to be nominated for best YouTube comedian by the Shorty awards. just wow. please make me win. Click the link in my bio and vote for me every single day until feb 22nd. I do not deserve it but I want it.

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hell yeah i’m still posting europe pics! i look cool as hell!!!! ha ha comment below for your chance to win my attention !!!!

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THRILLED to announce I accomplished ALL TEN of my 2017 resolutions β€” 1. GROW: my stomach 2. DONATE: my time typing this instagram caption 3. HUSTLE: I ran to my airport gate once 4. STAY PRESENT: time travel still not invented 5. MINIMALISM 6. SLAY: accidentally murdered a caterpillar under my doormat 7. GET IN SHAPE: I’m currently in a pentagon (house) 8. FOCUS: still 20/20 baby 9. PICK UP AN INSTRUMENT: lifted my guitar 10. GET ENGAGED: in a conversation, at least 11 times this year. Can’t wait to kick 2018 right in the chocolate starfish!!!! ✨

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in paris and you know what that means!!! my pants are now too tight to button and i’ve been out of clean underwear for three days β€” πŸ“Έ: @mbredouw

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hello new followers and welcome to hell ✨ comment your worst recurring nightmare 😴😈 for a surprise*
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*the surprise is nothing. i will do absolutely nothing other than delight in your misery

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sang loudly at Demi’s door until he brought me some vegan gluten-free figgy pudding because FAIR IS FAIR @electrolemon

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thought I’d shoot this with β€œfestive” lighting but it’s ended up looking less β€œChristmas festive” and more β€œSan Junipero festive” which is actually perfect because that’s my religion. Up soon 🍬

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last year i realized the cadence of β€œslob on my knob” is identical to β€œcarol of the bells” so i made this β€œcarol of the balls” and ruined christmas forever. anyway happy December!!!!!

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a lot of things are β€œwrong” with this photo β€” closed eyes, no pants, water bottle claw hand (gotta stay hydrated surfin the web). but i’m posting it anyway bc it’s happy and honest and i want to see more of that online. plus i’ve been looking way too attractive in recent pics and i gotta stay humble!!!!!!!!!

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i’ve always struggled with my mental health, but for a year* now, i’ve felt completely enveloped in the fog. i keep thinking it’ll dissipate (like it always does) and until then i’ve just got to β€œhang in there.” in the interim, i’m less and less motivated and finding the funny in anything is increasingly difficult, which wouldn’t be a big deal except that it’s my job (and coping mechanism.) it’s like i’m watching my life pass me by as an apathetic spectator. i can hardly remember anything from the past year, good or bad. it’s simultaneously frustrating and exhausting. i am tired of just surviving, i want to thrive. so while i’m trying to figure out how to make that happen, i wanted to thank you for believing in me, supporting me and being patient with me even when i’m posting emo shit like this (or more likely, not posting at all.) even though i hate talking about it, if sharing this can help even one of you feel less alone then hell yeah. let’s all be fucked up together ✌️

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when you’re a 28 year old woman but still small enough to trick or treat

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really wish there were more paid hag opportunities bc i’d really like to live in these woods forever; perfect place to practice peeing standing up without scrutiny

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suck it easy trees i am the tallest now!!!!!!!!!!

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these gels got me lookin like a real expensive hologram in this screengrab from my new video (link in bio)

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want to take this caption opportunity to confirmπŸ‘€that all my trueπŸ‘ŠfriendsπŸ‘―know that the salemπŸ‘»witchπŸ‘ΈtrialsπŸ’€had nothing😱to do with witchesπŸ‘Ίand everythingto do with three men (sheriffπŸ‘¨β€βœˆοΈjudgeπŸ‘¨β€βš–οΈreverendπŸ‘¨β€πŸ’Ό) using their positions for personal gainπŸ’ΈπŸ’°πŸ’΅!!!!! ✨justπŸ™…girlyπŸ’…things✨

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saying it louder for the people in the baCK FALL IS LIFE

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to those saying my captions are β€œso extra,” here is a very chill one for you: i took this last year between rainstorms from a covered bridge after listening to bon iver who, coincidentally, have a song called β€œflume” which is β€˜coincidental’ since this was taken outside the flume gorge in NH and furthermore this has all been one sentence

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i brought my camera with me to new england last fall but never posted the pics bc i [was funnier] had a theme but now that i [have accepted failure] upload with no abandon, i can post them all with no shame or more realistically, just the regular amount of shame with which i do everything ✨🍁

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some people spend their free time surfing or crocheting or cooking and others aggressively edit videos of their dog humping their sister's leg tomato tomato

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how glam can you look while airing it out

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it's september 1st you know what that means

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true friendship knows no bounds, not even fame and grammys and aggressive imbalance in skill level!!!!!!!!!!!!! πŸŒŸπŸŽΎπŸ‘―
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it's monday and you know what that means!!! yesterday was sunday and tomorrow is tuesday

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