miel βœ¨πŸ’–πŸ’«

trying very hard to appear carefree

https://youtu.be/PwK_U7OxfZ4

207 posts 84,095 followers 261 following

these gels got me lookin like a real expensive hologram in this screengrab from my new video (link in bio)

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want to take this caption opportunity to confirmπŸ‘€that all my trueπŸ‘ŠfriendsπŸ‘―know that the salemπŸ‘»witchπŸ‘ΈtrialsπŸ’€had nothing😱to do with witchesπŸ‘Ίand everythingto do with three men (sheriffπŸ‘¨β€βœˆοΈjudgeπŸ‘¨β€βš–οΈreverendπŸ‘¨β€πŸ’Ό) using their positions for personal gainπŸ’ΈπŸ’°πŸ’΅!!!!! ✨justπŸ™…girlyπŸ’…things✨

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saying it louder for the people in the baCK FALL IS LIFE

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to those saying my captions are β€œso extra,” here is a very chill one for you: i took this last year between rainstorms from a covered bridge after listening to bon iver who, coincidentally, have a song called β€œflume” which is β€˜coincidental’ since this was taken outside the flume gorge in NH and furthermore this has all been one sentence

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i brought my camera with me to new england last fall but never posted the pics bc i [was funnier] had a theme but now that i [have accepted failure] upload with no abandon, i can post them all with no shame or more realistically, just the regular amount of shame with which i do everything ✨🍁

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apparently staying "relevant" and "posting" are "good" for my "career" so here's a "thirst trap" selfie from me, a woman "old enough to have a teenaged child"

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might delete this soon but i was feelin cute in these passport pics and throughout my entire childhood

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some people spend their free time surfing or crocheting or cooking and others aggressively edit videos of their dog humping their sister's leg tomato tomato

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how glam can you look while airing it out

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it's september 1st you know what that means

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true friendship knows no bounds, not even fame and grammys and aggressive imbalance in skill level!!!!!!!!!!!!! πŸŒŸπŸŽΎπŸ‘―
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#IHeartLorde
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it's monday and you know what that means!!! yesterday was sunday and tomorrow is tuesday

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u want the feet u gotta pay for the feet!!!!!!!!!

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good news everyone. i used a face mask and now i am finally beautiful

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serving brother-in-law's-jacket-responsible-dog-owner realness with fog that the locals have named "karl" but tbh he feels more like a kraig to me. anyway let me know in the comments below if you think blood is bone juice πŸ’«

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the book jacket photo for my upcoming memoir "i used to have a tight instagram theme but then i ran out of friends to terrorize: a memoir"

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my brother and ophelia and me sitting on a sod roof two years ago today bc cute and timehop but also bc i'm less featured in this photo, making me look less like a narcissist and furthering my carefree brand

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people line up to take photos in front of this wall so i just had to give it my best shot! what do you think?

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sometimes i get in my head about posting pics of myself because DANG how many could we possibly need and it all starts to feel trite and bumptious but then i remember i'm a slowly decaying blood and bone bag on a rock rotating in infinite blackness and so OK throw another selfie on the gram

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here's an old vine reenacting an actual message i received from a male stranger on the internet bc what better way to handle creeps than to make fun of them πŸ‘ thanks @sarahschauer_ for the inspiration!

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here i am trying to forget a piece of my IUD is still stuck somewhere in my cavernous uterus and no one can find it and now maybe before i can even get it out i'll lose my healthcare bc a bunch of old white dudes need an ego boost but at least my hair looks good am i right (っ◔◑◔)っ β™₯ blessed β™₯

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a man on twitter once said to me "beauty sweetie love to see the feet baby please im kisses you" so i cropped them out of this pic bc at least pay me dam

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happy holidays to everyone who celebrates my birthday βœ¨πŸ¦€πŸŽŠβ™‹οΈπŸ’«

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i made @anthonypadilla swim while holding a phone to take this bc it made me look like a real peaceful bitch but here i am admitting i risked a phone for a mediocre ig pic and i know i could change this caption but i've already typed so many words

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how girls watch fireworks

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β™₯ ο½—ο½ο½Žο½„ο½…ο½’ο½Œο½•ο½“ο½” β™₯ *~~ fame is all that matters to me please for the love of god like and comment ~~*

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what's the best way to clean up blood

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i tried to take a "sexy" selfie but i forgot to close my mouth and moisturize my armpit hair so instead i present a lobotomy impression for your monday scrolling

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guess we all found heaven that day - a little vine throwback for the first day of summer 🌞

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i need to address the controversy. i understand many of you are upset. rightfully so. you deserve answers, and i promise i will tell you where my striped shirt has gone as soon as i post this double exposure i took of @anthonypadilla on my late grandfather's canon t90

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