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Depression and Anxiety isn't just having a hard time catching your breath. It's waking up in the middle of the night from a dead sleep because your heart is racing. It's stressing over things that may or may not be real. It's questioning your faith, how could my creator allow me to feel this way. Makes you sit there and overthink every single thing. At times you begin to feel abandoned and not worth anything. You can't eat right, you can't sleep, you uncontrollably to the point of vomiting, finding it hard to concentrate, feeling tired and irritable, makes you wanna just lay in bed and don't want to interact with other people. Anxiety is crying, real and painful tears. It's having to make up excuse after excuse for your behavior. Anxiety is flashbacks, a lot of "what if" "I don't know". This is the awful feeling.
I don't know what happened. I don't know why. I found out that he died. No one knew why. My sister said she saw vomit/puke around. He have been throwing up before he died. I don't know if he was poisoned or just really sick I dont know. I wasn't there to help him or send him to the vet. I wasn't there. I'm so sorry baby I'm not there for you these past few months. I feel so guilty I wasn't able to cuddle and play with you because I am away from home. Why did you have to leave so early? I'm so sorry. I hope I can meet you again. I hope I can look in your eyes again that always looked at me with love. I am so sorry. I hope you're happy wherever you are. Thank you for giving me the best of your 2 years. Greeting me every morning and welcoming me at night when I got home. The memories you made with me will live on. My life here will be so empty without you. You left this planet way before your time, but your heart and love you gave me will last until the end of time. I will miss you. You are my baby and you are and will always be loved. You were my best friend, my first born baby, and the bright spot in some very dark times in my life. You made me feel loved. I loved you with all my heart. Rest in peace my baby. I love you so much. You will always be a part of me. You're with Choco now. I'll miss you.