🇭🇹🇭🇹🇭🇹 The most powerful piece, able to move any number of spaces horizontally, vertically, or diagonally. @UnofficialExpert podcast.

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Name this album (I’m the one that raps) 🤩 by @iamjwphotography


I’m still in LA, getting fat. Haven’t walked to a subway in a month and I’m not ready to give up my $3 Ubers! Who wants to be my official chauffeur, for life when I get back on Wednesday? #DrivingMsReeezy


You’re never in and out, when you go to In N Out. The lines are always longgggggg 😑



Me and my forehead, at the beach. Neither one of us can swim but my forehead is buoyant AF


#TBT Me at your birthday party, uninvited and empty handed AF. I’m drinking all your rosé & leaving with half the cake wrapped in foil.


That time Jazzy Jeff took Darkskin Aunt Viv out on a date #TBT.
@unofficialexpert is still thriving and hilarious and free but the bonus episodes are $5 on #Patreon and Messy AF. Go listen to ALL the episodes, sis.



Winston + Marie = 4eva.


I was on @bet last night for the #socialawards. I missed it but people have been sending me the clips all night. (weirdos)
I wish I knew it was going to be a big deal, I wouldn’t have worn that damn hat. @majahhype called me a “cute crip”
Thank GOD my mom and her bougie church lady friends don’t watch BET 😅

If you missed it, don’t worry. I’ll be on BET again, eventually. I plan on being black for a few more years #sammysosa


#FBF That time I blocked the fire escape at the club and was escorted out by 2 bouncers for yelling: “YALL CAN STOP, DROP & ROLL. MY FOLLOWERS NEED THIS PIC MORE THAN ME”



It’s baby Naomi Kerry Washington Gabrielle union’s 27th birthday today! Everybody wish my boo @justsydbw a HAPPY FREAKING BIRTHDAY. Love you like a sis, sis.


Dry January is almost over who wants to buy me a winter Rosé?


#TBT to our last show where I gained 2 (two!) brand new stalkers that had to be banished for life. Next show is 8pm WEDNESDAY JANUARY 31st at Come protect me from all the crazy men who think we “have a connection, because I smiled at them while I was on stage”
And somebody PLEASE call Kevin Costner. 📷: @iamjwphotography



C H E E K B O N E S by Huguette 🇭🇹🇭🇹🇭🇹 makeup by: @tashnd


@Bet didn’t have ANY snacks but they did have @jessiewoo_! #BET #SocialAwards #epiDatsIt


It’s my sister @lufaustinpro birthday!! S W I P E to watch us hold the entire line up at #lebain just so we could shoot a video with 638 of our closest friends in the bathroom.
Go wish my buff ass baby twin #seester a HAPPY BIRTHDAY.



For a "shithole country" the United States sure does spend A LOT of time in Haiti. A brief history lesson for ya'lls orange President with the crooked lacefront:
After fighting for 13 yrs, Haiti "won" their independence in 1804. (WON = France made them BUY THEIR FREEDOM for $150 MM) That's $150 MILLION. They paid the debt in full in 1947.

Haiti had to borrow money from the US to pay of that insane debt.

In 1914 Woodrow Wilson sent US Marines to Haiti to empty the Haitian Gold Reserve.

The US occupied Haiti, controlled the economy, influenced elections, backed dictators, funded coups until the 1980s (That's 30 something years ago)

The US invaded Haiti AGAIN in 1994, 2004...(that's 14 years ago)

The US dumped Cholera in the water... 2010 Bill Clinton was UN Special Envoy to Haiti after the earthquake. $13 BILLION was pledged to help Haiti and all that money "disappeared"

Trump can kiss the blackest part of my ass and the entire country of France can kiss the light part #haiti


First week of 2018 is over and we’re already killing it. This week on the @unofficialexpert podcast, we’re asking crucial questions such as:
can you be cocky if you’re ugly?? Did I accidentally join Grindr?? Will I REALLY say yes to everything, during my Year of Yes??? Listen now on iTunes then slide over to Patreon. Link in my bio


S W I P E. Lets talk about my life in 2018 #visionboard



Waiting for toniiiiight, oh. When 2018 would be here in my arms 📸 @iamjwphotography


I owe a lot of people money so I switched up the hair & I’m leaving all of my debts in 2017. Let’s chat later. 📸: @iamjwphotography


Christmas Shopping AKA taking selfies at your dad’s house. #tbt


Don’t be rude in front of my baguette


60,000 likes on my pictures this year...WHY ARE YOU SO OBSESSED WITH ME?
6 pics by @iamjwphotography
2 pics by @davidlawrencebyrd and
ONE by @justsydbw


Say NO to surprise threesomes 🙅🏾‍♀️🙅🏿‍♂️🙋🏾‍♀️


Neither snow nor rain nor LACK OF COINS will keep us from coming to Philly today. 8:30 TONIGHT at @goodgoodcomedy. Bring extra socks, chicken noodle soup and 🍆🍆🍆


New Orleans is a magical city. I drank too much and ate too much but the amount of shade that I threw at strangers in broad daylight? juuuuust right.
Walked into a bar to sing Mariah Carey’s greatest hits with @matteolane and @1wald1 drew this pic of me in seconds.
You’re artistic? Go to NoLa. You like old/young/gay white men paying for your drinks: NoLa.
You like giant $5 daiquiris and dancing in the street? NoLa.
You like bumping into Manny Fresh and calling him ma’am: NoLa.
Sis, you like threesomes? NOLA.
If you’re cute and your hair is cute and you’re poor but you like talking to strangers: NOLA
If you have diabetes, DONT go to NoLa. You will die in a plate of beignets.


Struggling to speak French in the French Quarter. My Haitian mother is beyond proud.


Beyond #Blessed.
I saw someone wearing this catsuit on IG a few weeks ago. I found it on Monday AND IT WAS ON SALE. Long story short, I wore it for my half hour taping at @unionhallny last night. If you didn’t come, you’re dumb.
Big tings a gwan in 2018.


We’ll be serving marinated black girl magic on a well seasoned platter tomorrow at @unionhallny. Come see us in all our broke ass glory, BEFORE we’re too famous for you. Bring Rosé 📸: @seanpressleyphotography


#WCW goes to @rye.uh our Sex Toy Expert #unofficialexpert. Listen to the episode, I PROMISE you’ll learn something this week. Right on time for the holidays too!
PS: wtf is lube???