Kernel The Great

age 1, 150lbs 👶🏼| clumsy nude lap cow🐮| service dog x canine good citizen 😇| boston, ma🌇| @alyssabphotography🙋🏻| wagnificent! off leash hikes🐾| dm me💌

http://alyssabphoto.com/

281 posts 60,017 followers 196 following

“WE DIDN’T SEE YOU GUYS FOR A YEAR BUT SHE NEVER STOPPED ASKING FOR KERNEL.” -BUCKY’S DAD 😍 DEAR DEVILDIARY 😈, HIT THE TRIFECTA TODAY. FIRST, I HAD A BIP (BONER IN PUBLIC) FOR 60 MINUTES. THEN, A GUY ON HIS PHONE GOES, “MY FRIEND ON THE LINE WANTS ME TO ASK, IS THAT KERNEL?!” #YoureDamnRight THEN, WE RAN INTO BUCKY AND HIS DAD, WHO SENT ME THIS TIME LAPSE OF US 3 BABIES GROWING UP! FOR PAWSPECTIVE, BUCKY IS 105LBS & I AM 150LBS #adayinthelife #neveradullmoment 😂TYSM 2 @mydogiscutest 4 THE FEATURE!! 🎬

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RIGHT NOW I HAVE A VOICE AND IT’S REALLY IMPORTANT FOR ME TO USE IT. @adaripp Yesterday’s shooting was 10 miles from my K-12 schools. My loved ones are among those with personal ties to the 33 victims and I cannot bite my tongue any longer. Right before my mom died, she was running her small tutoring business, working with some kids from Stoneman Douglas. She had me tutored by her colleague, Jen, who became one of my “adopted moms.” Jen’s now teenage girls, my forever BABY SISTERS, were in school one town over and THAT is my line in the sand. Assault weapons have horrifically impacted the lives of millions in America, and it’s time to tell the US Constitution, #TimesUp. Time to fight HARDER to tighten gun laws and openly discuss the importance of mental health. This is DISGUSTING, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. #WeMustCultivateChange ♥️ Now, here’s Kernel eating the puppaccino he got from a barista for good behavior!! 😍

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But what is stronger than the human heart, which shatters over and over, and lives @rupikaur_ 💔💭 Today, it’s too hard to be funny. Ten miles from the only childhood home I had/have, in the town where I went to camp and swim practice, 17 kids were shot to death. The sound of gunfire in one eye-witness video shook me. My last few childhood years were spent in that same place, in the lonesome world of grief. My heart hurts for so many, now at that same age and place where I was, living the first day of their new lives. #NeverTheSame #SpreadKindnessAndLove #TattleOnBatshitCrazyPeople

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I MAKE IT REAL GOOD LIKE DR. FEELGOOD, TO MAKE SURE THAT MY POINT IS UNDERSTOOD, THAT WHEN IT COMES TO THIS, THERE’S NOTHIN’ GREATER, SINCERELY YOURS, SMOOTH OPERATOR #LookAtMyFace #UpThereWitThaGreats #BigDaddyKern @officialbigdaddykane 🤩🎩 TYSM TO @now.ive.seen.everything FOR THIS SUPER FB FEATURE! #BlessedAFFFF 💜

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🔊🆙 “DOES KOHNULL SAY MOO?” -OLIVIA, AGE 2 #ThatsNotADog 🐮🐄 OLIVIA IS MY VALENTINE AND ONE OF MY BIGGEST FANS. WHEN HER MOTHER SHOWS HER VIDEOS OF OTHER DOGS, SHE REQUESTS “KOHNULL.” #LiveLikeOlivia 😍

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CUZ I’M STILL GOOD HOWLLYWOOD COULDN’T CHANGE ME, SHOUTOUT TO MY HATERS SORRY THAT YOU COULDN’T PHASE ME #VVVGoodBoy 👋🏿 CELEBRATING THE ARRIVAL OF MY #CanineGoodCitizen #AmericanKernelClub CERTIFICATE BY SLEEPING TIL TMRW✌🏻😴 #Bliss #SonOfAnIntrovert #LipsAMillion

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🔊🆙 YOU REALLY WANNA KNOW WHY I’M ALLOWED TO COME? BECAUSE MY MAMA TO ME COMES NUMBER ONE. MAYBE YOU SUCKA MOTHA FLUFFAS DON’T UNDERSTAND, BUT TO MY MAMA I’M HER HALF-BLACK SUPERMAN #EazyE 💪🏼💪🏿 CAN YOU BELIEVE THESE LIL GUYS WERE AFRAID OF ME AT FIRST?! THEY MADE OUR BORING TRIP TO THE BANK TURN INTO A HIGHLIGHT OF OUR DAY! 😍 #McSweeties *service dog released from duty

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I’M MORE THAN YOU CAN HANDLE, I’M HOTTER THAN THE WAX FROM A CANDLE -2PAC 🔥📸 I USUALLY DON’T ATTEND MOTHER’S PHOTO GIGS, BUT MY FAN @hausandtonic LET ME CRASH HER HEADSHOTS!!! 😍 #LovinEveryMinute #ThisDogIsOnFirreeee

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BE NOT SCARED TO USE YOUR VOICE, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY. STAND & FIGHT FOR THOSE WHO ARE NOT WEAK, BUT HAVE YET TO DISCOVER THE STRENGTH THAT THE EVIL IN THIS WORLD HAS DONE ITS BEST TO CONCEAL. @logic #PSAFromMother The call I got today from a super sweet animal control officer has me itching to educate on the arbitrary world of service dogs. Most people don’t know service dog laws and some are quick to discriminate against an #InvisibleIllness. If you plan to train your own service dog, get ready to stand your ground and know the laws; you are your own advocate. I don’t know what the outcome will be on this minor issue, but it’s about principle. I was told “you can’t do that b/c there’s fake service dogs lately” and “you can’t do it b/c other people will think it’s ok to do it.” Well, I trained Kernel to help ME, and pesky people or fake service dog teams should not be negatively impacting our hard work. #MicDrop 🎤 If you’re not sure that your dog is service dog ready, ask yourself: Is he task trained? Can he pass the Canine Good Citizen test? If not, he is an Emotional Support Animal. 🐶

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🔊🆙 I CAN’T COMPACT HER EXISTENCE INTO 26 LETTERS AND CALL IT A DESCRIPTION. I TRIED ONCE, BUT THE ADJECTIVES NEEDED TO DESCRIBE HER DON’T EXIST. SO INSTEAD I ENDED UP WITH PAGES AND PAGES FULL OF WORDS FOLLOWED BY COMMAS AND COMMAS MORE WORDS AND MORE COMMAS, ONLY TO REALIZE THERE ARE SOME THINGS IN THIS WORLD SO INFINITE, THEY COULD NEVER USE A FULL STOP. ♥️ @rupikaur_ #GreatNanaIsMyHomegurl #ProudGreatGrandDane To use this video in a commercial player or in broadcasts, please email licensing@storyful.com

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SOUND ON!! 🔊I WANT EVERY GIRL TO KNOW THAT HER VOICE CAN CHANGE THE WORLD -MALALA 🧜🏻‍♀️🌺 I GOT SO ENRAGED WHILE LISTENING TO THE BRAVE STORIES FROM THE USA GYMNASTICS GIRLS THAT I UNLEASHED FURY ON MY ROOMMATE!! #MelodramaticDogsOfInstagram LOVE & STRENGTH TO THOSE AFFECTED BY THE AWFUL EVENTS. 😘 #YourVoicesAreHeard #DontStaySilent

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I’M THE HOTTEST IN THE STREETS, KNOW YOU PROBABLY HEARD OF ME, GOT NO DAD BUT TONS OF TREATS, HOPE YOU HOES KNOW IT AIN’T CHEAP! @iamcardib #IAmKernieG 😜 SHOUTOUT TO MY FAN, TRACY, WHO RECOGNIZED ME TODAY AT @panerabread!! #LoveMyFans #PawStruck ⭐️

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🔊🆙 ME CHOOSING WHICH SEAT TO WATCH THE SUPERBOWL FROM #SackedHer #LikeAPsycho #CuzImPsycho 🏈

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@michelleobama: YOU WARM OUR HEARTS, YOU MAKE THE WORLD BETTER
@theellenshow: WHERE’S MY GIFT?? 💝🎁 #PresentsPlz #MyGiftIsMyBooty #GoPats #HappyBirthdayEllen 🏈👀

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YOUR BARK WAS LOUD, BUT YOUR BITE WASN’T VICIOUS, AND THEM FLAPS YOU WERE FLAPPIN’ WERE QUITE KERNIE-LICIOUS!! #FlipFlopRap #SweetLikeBubbleGum @snoopdogg 🐽 TYSM TO @voyagersk9apparel FOR THE MOST FAB WINTER COATS!! #HandsomeHunny 💕

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I HOPE YOU LEARN TO MAKE IT ON YOUR OWN, AND IF YOU LOVE YOURSELF JUST KNOW YOU’LL NEVER BE ALONE, I HOPE THAT YOU GET EVERYTHING YOU WANT AND THAT YOU CHOSE, I HOPE THAT IT’S THE REALEST THING THAT YOU EVER KNOW, AND WHEN YOU GET IT ALL JUST REMEMBER ONE THING, ONE MAN COULD CHANGE THE WORLD @bigsean #DiversityIsBeautiful #HateIsUgly #WomenArePrecious ♥️💋MY DOGMOTHER (GODMOTHER TO DOG) @bailsohay HAS THE SWEETEST LITTLE SIS FROM BIG BROTHER/BIG SISTER!! IT WAS SO FUN PLAYING MUD SOCCER W/HER. SHE HAS ALL A’S AND IS STARRING IN THE MIDDLE SCHOOL PLAY! #Inspo #RockItGurl #KeepIt💯

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🔊🆙 THAT’S WHY THEY CALL ME THE DANGEROUS KERNIE G. #DrippingInFinesse #BoyfieVibes #Doggumentary @romobsiegel @mattyinthemorning 🤪 Tag a friend to cyber sit-on-their-head!! ☠️ TYSM to @doglove and @pets_adore for the features! 💯

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🔊🆙 THE WORLD IS FULL OF BEAUTY WHEN THE HEART IS FULL OF LOVE 👵🏻 GREAT-NANA CAN’T GO TO THE PARTY NO MO’, SO WE BROUGHT THE PARTY TO HER! #MySteadyBFnGF #ProudGreatGrandDane #CallYourGrandma 💋🤪 @romobsiegel @mattyinthemorning @jennygreenwold

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BANANA OOH-NA-NA, HALF OF MY HEART IS IN BANANA OOH-NA-NA, HE TOOK ME BACK TO EAT BANANA-NA-NA-NA, OH BUT MY BODY’S IN BANANA, MY BODY’S IN BANANA, BANANA-OOH-NA-NA @camila_cabello 🍌 I’M “BLOW”N AWAY AT THIS WIENER INSPIRED FOOD PORTRAIT MADE BY @dogs_infood! FOLLOW MY NEW PAL MAX, HE’S GOT RAW(DOG) TALENT!!! 😂😈

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I WANNA L-L-L-LICK YOU FROM YOUR HEAD TO YOUR PAWS, AND I WANNA MOVE FROM THE FUR DOWN TO THE-DOWN TO THE-TO THE CLAWS, AND I WANNA AH AH YOU MAKE IT SO GOOD I DON’T WANNA LEAVE, BUT I GOTTA KN-KN-KN-KNOW WHAT’S YOUR FANTASY??!!! @ludacris #IWasntStungByBees #JustHaveBigLips 👅TYSM TO @americankennelclub, @barkbox, AND @dogsgallery FOR THE FEATURES!

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SHE’S OUT HER HEAD, I’M OUT MY MIND, WE GOT THAT LOVE, THE CRAZY KIND, I AM HERS AND SHE IS MINE, IN THE END, IT’S HER AND I #2018BonnieAndClyde #MotherLover @iamhalsey @g_eazy 💋

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THEN I TOLD HER TO HER FACE, IF EVERYONE WAS LIKE YOU, THE WORLD WOULD BE A BETTER PLACE @champagnepapi 😘 I LIVE 2 CRASH GIRLZ NIGHT, THANK YOU TO MY DOGMOTHER @bailsohay FOR YOUR TLC!! 😈💜 #LikeBirdsOfAFeather #WeStickTogether #OPP #OtherPeoplesPuppies

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I’M A TRUE MASTER, YOU CAN CHECK MY CREDENTIALS, CUZ I CHOOSE TO USE MY INFINITE POTENTIAL, I’VE ACCUMULATED HONEYS ALL ACROSS THE MAP, CUZ I’D RATHER BUST A NUT THAN BUST A CAP @jeru_thedamaja 🔫 SWIPE 4 MY INTERVIEW HIGHLIGHTS W/ FIREBALL’S FAVORITE CONSUMER, @mattyinthemorning & CO. @thebillycosta @babyhotsauce @lisadonovan108 💥@alyssabphotography’s KICKS WERE A XMAS GIFT FROM MINI-MATT, @romobsiegel, AND HAVE A CUSTOM @kiss108 INSOLE. HOW COULD SHE HAVE WORN ANY OTHER FOOTWEAR?!? 😍#luckyshoes #hiworld #imreadyforya

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MY NOTEBOOK FEELS LIKE PASSPORT PAGES, WRITING ABOUT YOU ALWAYS TAKES ME PLACES @alakkuu 🌍 MY DAY WAS MAGICAL, SWIPE TO SEE; INTERVIEW CLIPS COMING TMRW! WE EVEN DISCUSS MY SEXSCAPADE WITH MATT’S BLACK SON, @romobsiegel #ITWASONETIME #ILOVESTRONGBLACKMEN 💪🏿TYSM FOR HAVING ME & @alyssabphotography IN STUDIO @mattyinthemorning @lisadonovan108 @thebillycosta @babyhotsauce @kiss108 😍 SEE ME PUT ROMO’S HEAD IN MY MOUTH (I DO THIS ALWAYS) IN THE LAST VIDEO. WHAT TROUBLE DO YOU THINK WE’LL FIND WHEN #TheRealMother BRINGS US TO A PHOTO GIG IN VERMONT NEXT WEEK? 😈

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IF FINDIN’ SOMEONE REAL IS YOUR FLUFFIN’ PROBLEM, BRING YA GIRLS TO THE CRIB, MAYBE WE COULD SOLVE EM! 🤷🏼‍♂️ #iLoveBadBitches #ThatsMyFluffinProblem #NYeaILikeTheFluff #iGotAFluffinProblem @liltunechi @asaprocky 😈 HOW ADORABLE IS NEW PACK MEMBER, 4M/O BABY WILLOW?! I CAN’T WAIT TO WATCH HER GROW! 🐶 HOPE YOU TUNE INTO MY INTERVIEW TMRW AT 8AM EST ON @kiss108 WITH MY BOY @mattyinthemorning!! #RiskedItAllToWinBig 😍 TYSM TO @dailymail, @igpups, @puppies.club & @sendadogphoto FOR THE FEATURES!

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BACK TO BACK LIKE I’M JORDAN ‘96, ‘97, WHOA @champagnepapi ☄️🏀 I HAVE REUNITED WITH @vittlesvault, AFTER THE FIRST #ad WE RAN WAS THEIR ALL-TIME TOP PAWFORMING POST; SWIPE TO SEE! 🙌🏿 MY PACK, #TheRealMother & I LOVE THE NEW TRAVEL-TAINER CUZ IT’S LIKE A BRIEFCASE FOR THE BUSY CANINE! IF IT’S PACK APPROVED, YOU KNOW THAT IT’S GOOD. ☮️ CATCH ME WHILE I’M FRESH ON @abcnews & @puppiespedia, & CATCH ME LIVE FOR THE FIRST TIME THIS FRIDAY ON THE @mattyinthemorning SHOW!!!!!!!

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I HAVE A DREAM! THAT ONE DAY, I WILL BE CLAIMED AS A DEPENDENT ON MOTHER’S TAXES. THAT ONE DAY, I’LL BE JUDGED NOT FOR THE SIZE OF MY MANPACKAGE, BUT THE SIZE OF MY HEART IIIIIIII. HAVE. A. DREAM. THAT MY HALF BIRTHDAY WILL ALWAYS FALL ON A NAT’L HOLIDAY, THAT MOTHER WILL SPEND MY MONEY NOT ON WHITE WINE, BUT ON MY PAWLLEGE EDUCATION. LET FREEDOM RING, LET FREEDOM RING!! #MartinLutherKerngJr #JK #MartysDaKing 🇺🇸🚔 THE ONLY POPO ON MY LOLO IS @theworldpolice. Who else would send a @barkbox for my half-birthday from Korea?!?!! We love ya, Ben!! #WorldStarMemer 😘

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EXPECTATION VS. REALITY (SWIPE) 😂 OUR WORK SHOULD EQUIP THE NEXT GENERATION OF WOMEN TO OUTDO US IN EVERY FIELD. THIS IS THE LEGACY WE’LL LEAVE BEHIND @rupikaur_💪🏿💋I’M WEARING MY #InstaFamous BANDANA TODAY ALONGSIDE MY #PodOfGold, COURTESY OF MY CYBER-GF @sheepish_addie. LAST YEAR, ADDIE INVITED ME TO HER IG POD, WHERE AS THE YOUNGEST OF 9 GOLDEN GURL GROUP MEMBERS, I HAVE FOUND MYSELF CONSTANTLY BEING SHOWERED IN KNOWLEDGE, KINDNESS, AND FRIENDSHIP. LOVE ALL U “INSTAFAMOUS” BITCHES!!!! 🌈@kai.the.golden.retriever @otis_unleashed @jackson_the_dalmatian @watsonandwalls @noodlelovesyou @lunatheportie @missolivethedoodle

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BITCHES BE YAPPIN’, I JUST KEEP FLAPPIN’✌🏿😘 #DopeAsThePope #HJDAwareness #HyperactiveJowlDisorder #FlapsOfDestiny ⚡️TYSM to @kidswithdogs for the feature!

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DON’T ASK ME IF THERE’S LIFE ON PLANETS WE’VE NEVER BEEN TO, WHEN EVERY SMILE YOU CRACK LANDS ME IN ANOTHER WORLD @alakkuu 🗺️😘 BORING MOMENT TURNED HORRIFYING WHEN #TheRealMother FLASHED ME A SMILE, REVEALING THIS SAD AND SHOCKING ABNORMALITY. WATCH ME GO STRAIGHT INTO SERVICE DOG MODE UPON THE CONFUSION. I WILL SAVE YOU MOMMY - DON’T EVER FLUFFIN’ QUESTION THAT!!! @alyssabphotography 🍊PS - this is my “ground” command, which I’ll complete automatically if I notice an emotional deviation in Mother. In this video, I worked to refocus her by giving hugs, kisses, and deep pressure therapy, only for her to remove the abnormality and laugh in my sorry old face!!!! 🧐❤️

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