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It's been 1 entire year since I became yours and my heart still loves you the same - I think of you every single day and I pray for your family constantly, I talk to you all the time when no one else is listening, because I know you are, I have a list of things I miss about you and it goes on for eons, one of the most prominent of those is how you looked at me and held me so tightly before kissing me so gently, I couldn't save you from what happened to you, while you were asleep at the ICU my mother heard me screaming in hysteria on my bedroom floor, pleading with my entire heart for God to save you, I came to you in the hospital and felt your skin with tears falling down my face praying for you to come back to me, I was the last person you saw and the recipient of the last words you ever said to anyone; "I love you".
— Baby I love you too with my entire heart forever and always my precious treasure You're my world, Ryan
Almost 6 months since you left and you still have my heart – I really meant it when I told you always and forever my precious treasure
Also – I'll address some opinions/talk about me that some of you have mouthed off about - you have no idea about me - you don't know if I cry myself to sleep every night or if my medication dosages have been doubled or if I keep myself this busy as a defense mechanism or if I don't talk to anyone because I'm grieving or if I would truly do literally anything for the Stumps or if I physically shake with rage at the thought of it or if I only shatter when I let myself or if I've gotten so strong that I'm untouchable and you just don't know what it's like to lose him like I did - you don't know the first thing about me - and if something this personal and this heartripping happens to someone then don't expect them to show it to you on social media every five minutes, Sherlock